Thursday, September 11, 2008

Signals

POLYGESTALT PONDERS:


While I do generally like my first name, it's pretty darn common. That's led me to have a kind of insensitivity/sensitivity to it. Insensitive in large groups where I don't respond to my name -- assuming that a person calling my name is really addressing someone else with the same name. And oddly sensitive in smaller groups where I automatically assume that people are talking to me. I really like to know when someone wants to talk to just me. (This sometimes leads me to a irrational irritation response to men with my same name.)


What does that have to do with a live-in poly situation? Well, it has to do with terms of endearment. I'm becoming insensitive/sensitive to my wife using the words honey, darling, sweetie, and the like. Does she mean me? Does she mean S? Does she mean both?? Obviously this is only really an issue when I know that both S and I are in earshot. But it has been happening more often.


This also spills over into the non-verbal realm too. That skimpy nightie she put on last night. Was it to entice S or me? Or both? I found out later that it was me
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