Communication, communication, communication. It's the three C's of polyamory. You hear it all the bloody time about how important it is, how vital that you do it, and do it well. You think you're doing pretty well, feel good about how much you've learned, you are able to impart your needs and your wants and boundaries. Or so you think...
Then something happens like last night, where S was out at B's for a date and forgot to let me know he planned on being out all night, home before kids were up. All of those criteria were fine, excepting the part where I didn't know about it ahead of time. So I wake up at unholy-early-o'clock and panic a bit because he's not home, figuring he fell asleep over there and just didn't wake up. Called him and he's on the way home, chipper and perky with NRE. (sigh)
The good parts are that I didn't blow up, and he didn't try to duck out on an apology, and we sorted it all out pretty quickly. The thing is when you're living so close all the time, there are often things that you think you've talked about that haven't actually been verbalized. The "virtual conversation" you had in your head. I think a pre-date briefing will be helpful in the future from/for each of us. Where are you going? Who with? Planning to be back by? Any childcare considerations? Just a quick verbal check-in to make sure that everyone is on the same page in advance. I'll have to remember this as I start getting out more again, whenever that happens!