Thursday, September 11, 2008

Discomfort

There have been a lot of little things that are a bit uncomfortable to deal with of late. Both of the guys are dating out again, there's the move, the changes in the domestic scenery with kids and the parenting stuff that brings up, and recreating self and the relationships I am in. There have been several times lately where I've been uncomfortable about something and my partners try to "fix it" for me. No! Stop trying to save me from myself, and my responses and emotions. There is no way to get to the other side of that ocean but through it!

Let me be uncomfortable with something, let me think it through, talk it out, feel it and decide if something is really too hard to deal with, or just a spot I need to muscle through. If I'm wiggy about your new flame coming over and making out on the couch, let me feel sick in the pit of my stomach and realize that you are here with me out of choice, and that I don't have to immediately feel compersion with each and every new experience and person that is being pulled into the orbits around me. Will that be nice when I get to that space? You betcha! Is that where I'd like to be heading, is that my goal? Generally, yes. I'm not going to guarantee that I'll like or love everyone and everything that either of my partners choose, but I'm going to do my best to make sure I don't toss something out based on a icky feeling that will likely pass with more familiarity.

Embrace the discomfort. Press against it. See if it lets go with some concentrated effort, breathing, awareness. Let it release and see the space that is created in that wake.

-PF
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