Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Community

Polyfulcrum here, bumping the nudie picture down lower:

Moving into this new week, it seems a time for community! We had Sunday dinner with PG's other partner and her kids, and that was another good interaction to our credit. Last night it was off to the poly discussion group! The distribution was a few new to poly types, a returning poly, our little pod and S and myself's new dating partner, and the couple that hosts the group, who we've known about a year now.

PG likes the newbie dynamic and being able to lend our experiences out to others. I appreciate being able to go back and find some of the nuances of the basics that can always use review. S is very up on participating within the community and being a part of a large dynamic. This particular meeting was helpful to me in being able to look at some of the things that have been going on since the move and seeing how far we've come already in that journey. Looking at things and understanding that socks and terms of endearment are good issues to be navigating!

One of the other participants at the meeting is beginning a long-distance relationship right now, which sort of resonated with me. Prior to my relationship with S getting off the ground, my previous poly partner of 6 years was long distance. We are still friendly with each other, but haven't visited in person for over a year now. It was very hard on him (and me) when I decided to move past that relationship, and the distance thing was a factor. Still, you can't look at a 6 year relationship that changed you positively in perpetuity to be a mistake. I learned a lot from that connection, and would never want to give that time back or spend it another way. Listening to the person at the meeting talk about the challenges of connecting via email, chat, cam and phone, it was a flashback for all those evenings sitting by the glow of the monitor and enjoying some very focused and deliberate conversation that you really took the time to choose to have. Looking back, I realize that having the local community to lean into has really made this year possible, but there are things that I miss about that relationship...
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