When we moved into the new home, one of the questions we were thinking about was who would be sleeping where, how often, with whom? Specifically, how often would I sleep with PG or S? For me, this question has not a lot to do with sex, and a lot to do with snuggle time and the conversation that happens when the lights are out and I'm drifting off to sleep.
We tossed around the concept of a schedule, and both S and PG put the thumbs down on that as being too inflexible. So we've been working with a pretty amorphous concept. I decide where I sleep each night, unless someone has a particular need that they verbalize to me. To this point it's been working pretty well. The first couple months I felt a bit anxious about it. What if someone wasn't feeling like they were getting their share of my time spent drooling onto my pillow and snoring softly? Then I realized that they could just ask anytime, and that I should, in fact, trust them to be adults and do just that. Wow! What a relief!
Sleeping is something I'm pretty picky about. I don't sleep well with others, just my primaries. It can sort of blow people away that I might be able to be physically intimate with them, but they'll get punted when it's time to hit the hay. PG and I have been sleeping together for 13 + years now. We have very well-established sleep patterns. It's very restful to be curled up next to each other and know that if I nudge him a specific way, he'll respond in a predictable fashion. With S, we're still getting the hang of it, but have different sleeping "short hand" developing. I like his mattress better. ;)
Here's to the bedroom shuffle!