Sunday, June 5, 2011

Shared Time




For years now I've noticed that my happiest poly experiences involve partners who are comfortable with and enjoy sharing time with others important in my life. Yes, I absolutely enjoy and prioritize solo time as well, but someone who really likes to do things together with my child and my other partner(s) has a significant leg up on gaining additional levels of intimacy and access to my heart, among other bits. ;)

One of the things I've been enjoying lately has been watching the new HBO series, Game of Thrones with S, D and S's other partner, A. We'll do some BBQ, talk about things of import in our lives, and snuggle on the couch together while enjoying the complex storyline of the show, along with the T&A often found in such HBO originals! There's a bit of racy energy, but it's more a companionable vibe that is building appreciation of each other as individuals, the ties shared with mutual partners, and that extended family thing that is so deeply satisfying to me.

Some conversations are deeply personal, and the openness and trust shown is intimacy-building for me. While I have many community connections, letting people in closer feels more risky, so being able to take these little steps together, one meal, one episode, one hug, one discussion at a time, eases those fears.

People wonder how to build compersion? This is where it's at for me! Expend the time and energy to get to know your metamours. Start with happy healthy relationships, find something enjoyable for everyone to do together, and enjoy the fallout. Shared time isn't for everyone, but for those of us who like a more extended family or close community model of poly, it's an important building block.
Post a Comment