In my work as a massage practitioner, one of the main focuses is on restoring and developing optimal blood flow to an area of dysfunction. You see, blood is life. Without the flow of oxygen, nutrients, the removal of waste products, there is loss of nerve connectivity, function, inflammation, and eventually, death. What components go into the "blood" of your relationships? Time, empathy, self-knowledge, attention, desire, affection, communication, intention?
There have been people that have come into my life over the years that I would have loved to add to the roster, but some vital facet of the "blood" of a relationship was missing. In some cases, it was as simple as having conflicting schedules, or locations that were too broadly divergent to optimally grow the connection. In others, there was a lack of clarity in intention, or self-knowledge, that made solidifying the relationship challenging. Still others lacked basic communication skills, turning an innocent misread of a concern into a situation.
If you notice a connection that feels a bit clunky or awkward, chances are good that one or more of the things that you consider to be a vital portion of relationship life blood is lacking. It would be worth taking some time to determine if it's a fatal flaw that will inevitably strangle the connection, or if some supplements (finding a schedule that works for all involved, working out a balance between introvert and extrovert perspectives, having a conversation to clarify what each of you is wanting in the connection) would help. Perhaps a more direct approach to bring blood flow to the relationship is in order, things like counseling or taking training on communication is in order?
When it comes down to basics, every relationship needs good blood flow to keep it healthy, vital and growing. Take the time to "massage" your partners, and yourself, to get good "nutrition", and exercise your way to toned relationship muscles! You'll be amazed at the results you can achieve in just 20 minutes, three times a week! ;)
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