Monday, August 17, 2009

Return of the child


For the past couple weeks and change, the daughter that PG and I have has been out of town visiting with my family. This timing has turned out to be a very good thing as we've been processing and shifting things around a bit in her absence. In addition, there's been more freedom to explore different feelings (read: cry, discuss things that are a bit sensitive, otherwise have rather adult conversations) without the restraint of having a small person around that needs to be considered and protected.

Now that she is coming back to town tomorrow, I am looking at the possibility of answering questions that might be a bit uncomfortable, as she notices changes and differences in general operations. I may be over-selling this, but she's a pretty perceptive person, with a fairly adept personal radar for things that may be impacting those she loves. Although the practical changes are pretty minor, there's an overall shift in SOP emotionally that might be noticeable. I'll be doing my best to answer as fully and honestly as possible any questions that come up from her, without getting into too much detail, or sharing context that is over her head.

To provide a safe, stable and loving environment is the top priority for all of us in regards to the children. People often wonder how kids in poly households do with changes like breakups. With outside the household changes, they've been curious, interested, and concerned. Unless it impacts their emotional support, it's just about as impactful as a friend moving to a different neighborhood. Some sadness, regret, but it's part of life. We haven't had major shifts in our inner circle, but I'm sure that would be more intensive. All in all, there are more resources to go around for the kids, and if one or two of us are off nursing some emotional struggle, there is someone to help handle the slack.

On a different note: S has a new dating interest that is bringing a smile to his face these days. There is texting, and email, and phone calls, oh my! A date is set up later this week, and I am hoping it goes really well. On the flip side, you might as well line up my personal insecurity buttons and push them in sequence. She's cute, shorter, younger, thinner and more ambitious than I, as well as totally new to poly. That said, he likes her so far, and I'm excited that he is enjoying an opportunity that is light and fun!

PG is also dating someone new in recent weeks. She is a wonderfully likable person, who makes it a point to include me at times, and to get to know me as a person. I am grateful to have a metamour that seems so much closer to my comfort zone in poly style.

I also have a date this week, unexpectedly! Very preliminarily, she seems well-spoken, takes initiative, is bold, lovely to behold, and intelligent. It will be really good to spend some time reminding myself that I am a person apart from the household dynamics, and delve into my flirty self again. :)

So much to do, so little time to do it in... Where to begin?
Post a Comment