Thursday, June 11, 2009

Unvarnished


One of the things I like about doing this blog is that it is pretty unvarnished. There is no delusion that we have all the answers, that our (pardon the crudity) shit doesn't stink, that we aren't figuring things out, making mistakes, picking ourselves up and continuing forward, hoping to do better the next time something presents itself.

If you are looking for a definitive treatise on polyamory, you will not find it here. There are no quick and easy answers, no simple fixes, no step-by-step programs to follow that will lead to Poly Nirvana, where the unicorns roam free, and communication is always without effort. There are disagreements, there are inconsistencies, there are times when we are weary and disinterested in growing any more, thank you very much!

And yet, there is more joy, more laughter, more learning, growing, intimacy and pleasure than pain, jealousy, or fatigue. In the grand scheme of things, it's a pretty steady upward spiral. I like myself and my partners more this year than I did last. I love myself and my partners now in ways that I couldn't foreseen two years in the past.

Do I have it all figured out? Hell no! Do I think that sharing the struggles and joys I experience with others may be of benefit to them in their journey? I certainly hope so. I know that many realizations are made when I write them down to share, benefiting the author as much, or more, than the reader.

So I continue to write about our lives being polyamorous, to share, to put it all out there, transparent, not glossy or glamorous, but hopefully useful, if not to you, to me. Unvarnished, because that is the way life is, that is the way love is. The patina that is acquired through years of use is more valuable than the untouchable beauty of a artificially polished surface that scratches off when bumped. It is more durable and complex, with deeper character and more interest.
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