Monday, April 20, 2009

Finding the sweet spot


Partner selection. It continues to come up over and over again! Right now, I'm looking at the idea of dating outside the house hold as a possibility, and keep getting stuck in my own feedback loop of possible outcomes. One of the key factors that I keep running up against is the availability factor, particularly regarding time and emotional availability.

Here are issues I've encountered before and don't want to have a repeat performance in: Dating partners who: won't schedule time to spend together, have WAY more time or energy available than I do, or want to date me so much that they pretend to be poly or bi, rather than mono or gay.
Having two full time relationships, a business, a couple of dogs and kids to wrangle, time is a pretty limiting factor, as is the availability of relationship time. So, what would the ideal situation look like? I'd like to find someone who has a similar profile, so that they aren't waiting by the phone for a call either, but also a person that I connect with well enough to want to prioritize spending time with.

On the other hand, I don't really have time or energy to accommodate an additional Relationship, capital R. Rather, a nice relationship, lower case r, would suit nicely! Weekly, or every other week, dates would be grand, anything more than that looks a lot like hanging out at the house with me.

So, now that I've gotten parts of my personal ad written, what are some of the factors that feed into your partner selection criteria? How do you find the sweet spot between attraction and availability? How do you pass on a good connection that isn't going to execute well in practical terms? Share what's working for you!
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