Monday, January 5, 2009

The perfect card

PF-

Here I was hoping one of the guys would tackle this, but I can't stand it anymore! It must be shared with the world at large! How does one find the perfect card for poly connections or occasions? PG was struggling with that this year when searching for a holiday card to give to S. What sort of missive do you pick up for your wife's live-in lover, who is also a friend of yours? The lovey-dovey stuff is out, since they're all manly in a non-bi sort of way with each other. The stuff you'd give a co-worker is too impersonal. Relative titled items are not quite accurate either. Friends isn't quite deep enough. So PG hit on a totally different take on this dilemma.

As we were opening gifts together, it was time for S to open the card from PG. As he cracked the envelope, I could see PG shifting in ill-concealed glee. S had an incredulous look on his face, and then started laughing. You see, PG's card went something like this: For a Great Housekeeper. We couldn't do it without you. Your attention to detail and contributions are valued.

Of course, there was a more personal sentiment also included, but the main gist was both comical and a bit on the truthful side. You see, S is probably the most naturally neat and tidy of the lot of us. It's absolutely typical for someone to turn their back for a short time and return to find their cup, and on occasion, what was left of their dinner, vanished. Taken by the cleaning maven and pre-washed on it's way to the dishwasher. We've had to stake out zones that one can leave a currently in use item in to assure it will still be there when we return.

There are times where the impulse to clean hits him at 4am on a Saturday. This is something totally incomprehensible to me. The concept of getting up to iron _anything_ on a weekend is completely lost on me. When the bed is being made around my still snoozing form, that's probably when he figures out that might be taking things too far. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating about making the bed with me still in it, but the rest of it is pretty spot on.

It was a concern for me early on in the discussion about moving in that I might, in fact, be too slovenly for S to live with. I think the three of us cover the spectrum pretty well. PG is fastidious about very specific things, but isn't overly domestically motivated in general. I try to stay on top of things, but not to the point of using toothbrushes on grout, or doing things that involve being on my hands and knees (at least, not if we're talking cleaning products!). Honestly, I think we've had a moderating influence on our "housekeeper", and he's brought my game up a notch, at least some days.

So here's to appreciating the dilemmas involved in finding poly-related cards! Honestly, what do you pick up for your metamour to let her know you're sorry she hit a bear? How do you thank someone for a really great flogging? What says: I love that you love my lover in the Hallmark aisle? We're going to look into starting a company to help out with these needs. Feel free to send us ideas for things you'd like to find on a card to give your loved ones, or your loved ones loved ones, or their loved ones kids, or the spouse of your... well, you get the idea. Let's shake things up and help you create the perfect cards for the special someone's in your life.
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