Wednesday, November 26, 2008

T-Day

PF shakes in boots:

OK, maybe I'm overstating that. I'm a bit on the nervous side. Tomorrow is T-Day. The day that I meet my poly in-laws. S came out fully with them last weekend in person, to allow them a little time to process and get their game face on before we have them over for dinner tomorrow. That went well, but it wouldn't be the first time I've heard of a delayed reaction to coming out either...

The thing is that I've never really done the "meet the parents" thing. When PG and I were first dating we were very young, and I met his mom pretty immediately, since he was still living at home. She and I get along pretty well on most points, and she's been a more supportive parent to me than my own nuclear types have been, so thus far, I'm doing well with that end of things.

It seems as though I've "grown up" within our relationship with S telling me how he's formed a lot of his strategies in life based on his father, sort of a round about way of seeking approval. I certainly don't want to let him down, or seem like a down-grade from his most recent spouse. This silly sort of comparison stuff doesn't serve a constructive purpose, but is in keeping with the desire for acceptance and approval that many of us were heavily ingrained with as children.

Living a pretty thoroughly alternative lovestyle, one would think that one had grown out of these things! Largely, this is true. However, there is still that niggling little remnant from youth that wants the pat on the head, the "Wow! You did well to find this one, Son!" sort of validation. For me, the challenge tomorrow is going to be to stay present in the moment, be myself, and enjoy meeting and getting to know these people that have been so important in forming a person I love on my own terms. I hope I like them.
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