Sunday, November 30, 2008

Puppy Ambush





POLYGESTALT REPORTING:

And now we enter the minds of our puppies...

Bella: "I say we make our move to take out the bald one."

Donna: "Yeah, he's always scolding us when we go potty on the carpet. What's that about anyway? Doesn't he understand it's cold and wet outside this time of year?"

Bella: "Agreed. So, here's the plan. We act like we're playing hard, minding our own business--"

Donna: "Ooh! I love tooth-wrestling! Just don't pull too hard on my ear again, that freakin' hurt."

Bella: "Yeah, yeah, no worries. Remember, that part is just the distraction. While he's sitting on the floor next to the couch, I'll jump up and start licking his head--"

Donna: "Ooh! Good idea! He doesn't seem to mind that, it'll lull him into a false sense of security!"

Bella: "Exactly! Then you jump into his lap, like you're still tracking me to get in another good bite. While he's paying attention to you, I'll whip around the right side of his head and try to bite off his nose. He'll be so shocked that you can then leap up and bite off his upper lip!"

Donna: "Mmmmm... *slurp* I can almost taste success!"

Bella: "Get your muzzle out of your butt and let's get this op under way."

==================

Needless to say, they executed their plan almost flawlessly! Only their relative lack of experience allowed me to get away with more of my nose and upper lip intact than they intended.

Since I couldn't banish or punish them too severely due to their tender age, the only recourse I had available to me Saturday night was to seek the comfort of an elixer to sooth my nerves --
"the hair of the dogs that bit me!" You see, just the prior day, I found a drink recipe for a drink called the "Bella Donna." So, I whipped up a batch for s1m0n, polyfulcrum and myself.

Here's the recipe:

2 tsp Sugar

2 oz Fresh Lemon Juice

Fill mixing glass with ice

2.5 oz Dark Rum

2.5 oz Amaretto

Shake. Strain into a chilled glass.

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