Monday, August 3, 2009

Begin again

S and I were at a meditation class recently, and one of the ideas that caught my attention was this bit of wisdom: "Meditation is the art of beginning again." It isn't sitting like a rock contemplating your belly button lint for six hours at a time, it is about being able to re-focus when distractions occur, to stay present in the moment, to start over when something isn't going well or as expected. This is useful to me as a poly person as well.

In any relationship, there are going to be shifts, changes, different stages of development, and it can be tempting to hang onto what has gone before as a way of predicting what may happen next, or to cling to the agreements and plans that we made previously. The problem with this paradigm is that we all keep changing, and circumstances shift. There is no crystal ball that is going to tell you what is coming next. There is only the opportunity to begin again. By staying focused and conscious of where you are, rather than where you have been, or where you want to go, what you wish for, acceptance comes more easily.

Goal-setting can still be an important part of this journey, but I find staying relaxed enough to shift into what is, rather than pushing towards what may be, less stressful. If something gets way off-track, just begin again. Seeing a need to start over as failure isn't useful. Apply what you have learned, plot a course forward, and begin again. There is always a new opportunity waiting for you anytime you desire it. Begin again.

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