Saturday, December 3, 2016

Define Yourself

Can I share a for real hard thing here?  TW- rape.

As a kid, I was a target of sexual assault while living overseas.

Watching this video clip today brought that back up:

The bit about others defining you as damaged for being the target of sexual assault around the 3 minute mark is a huge part of why I didn't report for years, and certainly not to my parents.  I'd already seen how my cousins, around the same age, who'd been molested by a church member, were seen as forever broken by those events.

Last week, thirty years later, my mom basically told me that she thinks the rape broke me, and turned me into a liberal, critical thinker.  It engendered such rage to have being sexually assaulted as a preteen thrown up at me as The Reason I'm poly, bi, atheist, and keep civil rights as a focus of my life. The things I am most proud of about myself.

My partners have done more to support me in life than my family of origin ever has, and I am thankful to have found the level of love and acceptance within the poly community that I enjoy.

For those of you out there that aren't sure you can do poly because bad things have happened to you, know that we are all carrying things with us.  It doesn't define us (unless we allow that), and that you can have as many amazing relationships as anyone else!