Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Creating space


There are so many reasons that people need space to themselves in life. I've always tended towards wanting more time with others than with myself, but that isn't the case for many others. Finding a way to create space within your mutual life for each person to have individual time, for other connections, for their hobbies, for personal development, is an important skill to develop, and one that hasn't come naturally to me.


Right now, both PG and S are needing more space than usual for other pursuits. It's tempting to cling, but I am making a real effort to learn to enjoy more space of my own. This sort of reminds me of when I started lifting weights. It felt repetitive, time-consuming, boring, too deliberate, and didn't allow me to check out as I was lifting. I much preferred the more active types of cardio, or yoga, something that I could get in the zone and just _do_. Over time, it got easier and easier to find value in lifting. The exertion on a focused level, the flexion and extension, getting inside my muscles and really connecting with movement became an end unto itself. In that same way, I am looking to learn to anticipate time with self, and enjoy the space that I am giving to others as a gift to myself.


Fortunately, I like my own company, and I do have others that I can spend time with while I'm "on my own" in the household. The kids enjoy having my focus, perhaps a bit too much, but this is a good point to help them start to develop the skills I'm working on acquiring myself. You never know, I might actually learn a thing or two in the process... ;)
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