Tuesday, March 24, 2009



The struggle for perfection bogs so many of us down in a morass of our own perceived inadequacies. Every time we fail to live up to our own standards is another opportunity to reevaluate them and refine what standards have value to us. Within my life, perfection is a ridiculously ephemeral concept. You see, almost everything I do, every role I fulfill, is subjective. Also, I don't have terribly strong personal boundaries or ideals of what perfection might look like. The one thing that I _don't_ lack clarity about is that I am not perfect.

When I think of myself as a parent, instead of getting stuck in beating myself up for whatever it is I don't do well, I consider the ways that I might be able to improve, or how I can help my fellow parenting support units increase their skills. Or perhaps what I'm trying to do is just something that doesn't suit me, and maybe I should farm it out? This is a role that definitely does NOT lend itself to perfection!

When I consider my body and the never-ending struggle with staying at a healthy size that is optimal for me, I try not to get discouraged about the process. I find something that I can focus on as a positive, develop a goal, or decide to be content with where I'm at at a given point in time. There will likely never be a time when my body will fit an ideal of perfection to society at large. Luckily for me, society at home is more important! Appreciation is available, as is encouragement. My body type is what it is, and I can work within that framework to improve on what nature has given me, perfection not withstanding.

When I contemplate my relationships, I realize that they are works in progress. It's unlikely that I will ever be the most accomplished communicator, but I have come a long way from the days of tactless blurting! Every person is different, each relationship has its own flavor, and new combinations create unique frequencies to accommodate. There is no perfection because perfection can only exist within a static framework. Still, there is breathtaking beauty in the variations of each relationship. From the comfort and familiarity of the most long-standing, to the vitality and effervescence of the newest; valuing connections that are redefined, or rise from the ashes of conflict, I try to embrace the flaws, the lack of perfection. They bring the depth, the contrast, the patina of life, of love, of who we are, and who we are growing towards becoming.

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