Sunday, March 22, 2009



A while ago, we found out that our daughter has amblyopia. For those who aren't familiar with the term, it's also known as lazy eye. When one eye sees better than the other from birth, the brain starts to shut off the image from the weaker eye and just uses the input from the stronger eye. To treat this issue, they patch the "good" eye and make the weaker one carry the load, forcing the brain to use the weaker side's input and improve its function.

How many of us have experienced this inability to focus on more than one thing, either within a mono relationship, in our poly relationships, or when in the throes of NRE? The majority of the mono people I know are serially mono. They move from relationship to relationship. When one starts to peeter out, or become less interesting, more domestic, they find it easier to focus on something new, something different, something exciting and romantic! At the loss of having balanced "vision" usually.

Within poly, the challenge becomes finding ways to keep the focus on more than one relationship at a time, especially when one seems more appealing than another; easier or more intense. There are times where one needs to "patch" their vision, and focus on another partner, or a different aspect of life entirely, in the interests of having a fuller vision in your life, a more balanced approach.

When one is focused exclusively on a single relationship or facet of life, depth perception is off, things aren't seen as clearly or as deeply as is possible. When all relationships are strong, and life is in balance, focus is more intense than ever imagined! For those of you with corrected vision, think of the first time you put your glasses on, all of the details that you were totally unaware of, the leaves on the trees and shapes of the clouds. Taking off the rose-colored glasses and opening both eyes to a more focused reality will lead to faster growth and healthier relationships within life and with self.

1 comment:

EmilyTbM said...

Great analogy! I am picking up what you're putting down here!