Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Changes in lineup


So last week I shifted out of the relationship with B. It was disappointing how the ending came about, in that there wasn't a resolution that was peaceful or respectful. For me, that is pretty new.

I've been very lucky thus far in my relationships, because they have had endings that were mutually respectful. Even when painful, there has always been a sense of the value the relationship had to each of us. Just because something doesn't work out, doesn't make the relationship worthless, and the person it didn't work with wasn't bad or malicious.

Now comes the tough part: Since both S and I were dating B, as a couple and solo, I have no idea if she will be continuing the connection with S, or how I'll be comfortable with that if they opt in that direction. S has made it clear that my feelings count in that regard, but I don't want to put blocks up if that connection continues to be of value to him. Still, how do I take my hurt feelings out of the way enough to be comfortable with that?

Time and conversation will be key, so I'll keep thinking, talking and working through the feelings surrounding this. It's not feeling terribly rewarding though at this point... Ah well, no one said this would be easy! OK, maybe one person did, but they're obviously a big fat liar! ;) So it's time to be real with how I feel and communicate that well to others, even when I feel vulnerable around doing that.

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