Sunday, February 13, 2011

Pausing


There have been several points in my journey as a poly person where it has seemed like a good idea to take a break, pause, catch my breath, stay focused on what is, and not reach for what may be. Often, I've ignored that idea in pursuit of the ideal of being able to handle everything all at once. Is it that I dislike saying no to others (and myself!), or admitting that maybe I don't have the capacity to handle "just one more" relationship? Perhaps that I'm not poly enough to be infinitely loving in the face of practical concerns? All of the above seems likely.


This time, I'm hitting the pause button. It's going to stay active for a while. There is already so much happiness and richness in my life, with my daughter, S and D, my business, the dogs, holding the group discussion, and nurturing the friendships that are part of my community connections. There is no need to hold the door open for more. I'm still sad over the loss of the relationship with PG, even with over a year of processing, and the divorce has negatively impacted our daughter, even with all the care we've taken to maintain a positive environment. In order to help her heal, I need to take a step back from the immersion in my personal growth, and sink into parenting for a while.


If you have stories to share about how your kids have dealt with breakups inside of poly relationships, mostly between their parents, but also with other beloved adult figures, it would be a great time to share that wisdom with me. We could really use it.
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