There are many things that can disrupt an open marriage: unanticipated events, scenes, moments, conversations, and people ... all of which can introduce new anxiety and drama and uncertainty. After all, if you wanted static, you wouldn't have agreed to this lifestyle in the first place. Change is all that's certain.
I recently connected with something like an office coworker - a potential "new shiny".
It was my wife that suggested we all get together and have brunch;
My wife that encouraged me to look at the potential as well as the risks in this new person;
My wife that sat on one side of me while the "new shiny" sat on the other during a community gathering;
My wife that reached out in an email to the "new shiny" to touch base and follow-up afterwards;
My wife who negotiated with me on what she'd feel comfortable with;
My wife who agreed to spend weekend time together with this person;
And my wife who - at this very moment - is reading medical literature on a condition the "new shiny" has.
If there's any person in my life who compromises, finds a way to build emotional strength and stability between us, and who actively attempts to understand and participate in all of my polyamorous relationships, it's this woman. My wife. And she's a wonderful, incredible human being, and I adore her.