Thursday, January 14, 2010

Community as family

It's been a very stressful and challenging six months. As PG was sharing in an earlier post, things have been all over the map for him, and for us. I've leaned pretty significantly into my support networks, into S, people that I am delighted to be dating, and many of the friends that we've been able to form community with.

One of the things that has been very pivotal for me has been the response that I've gotten from these people over the past several months. When things hit a pretty intense pitch a couple weeks ago. I contacted my friends, my play partners, and let them know that I would likely be less accessible for a while. The response I was expecting was sympathy, and an offer to give me space that I might need. What I received was the sympathy, but also offers of support, repeated check-ins to make sure I was doing ok, offers to have dinner, snuggle, and invitations to be in a different space.

So many people pay lip-service to the idea of community or family. They are in it as long as it is comfortable or convenient, and when things feel less than completely pleasant, they step back to clear themselves from that space. What I am being shown is an entirely different type of community, where, even when things are less than pleasant, rather than shying away, there is stepping forward to help hold me up. I am humbled and blessed by the people in my life.

PG and I have turned the corner with our relationship, and decided that together is still a better place to be than apart, that the love is still there, that this family is worthy, and that we can each pursue individual goals and dreams within the context of being partnered/married. We are beginning again, with different skills and experiences to draw off of, and renewed commitment to each other, and I thank my community for being there for us during this trial, and invite you to share our joy in this renewal.


Anonymous said...

Great friends you have. I'll celebrate your joy with you. I'm glad you found answers, that you could still be together and look forward to the beginning of a new path for you.

designergrl said...

i am going to live vicariously right now thru you hon.I just lost my best friend,lover,soulmate,,domme to....mental illness ??Ego?Fear ?It's going to be a while before I come outa this one.

So keep posting so I may remain hopeful will ya ?

big hugs