Sunday, October 25, 2009

Time out

This weekend was a get-away weekend for me. S and I jetted out of town to belatedly celebrate my birthday. We didn't go far, or extravagant. As a matter of fact, one of the defining features was that I crashed way early both nights. So what was the big deal?

Since PG and I opened up our relationship 8+ years ago, I started taking trips several times a year with C, my long-distance lover. He and I would travel together 3 or 4 times a year, usually for a long weekend, and it was something I learned to really cherish. For a few precious days, I was able to do something out of the ordinary. I could just be myself. Not any one's mom or therapist. There wasn't anyone I needed to take care of.

Perhaps you are more skilled than I at embracing that within your own space. I find that I MUST leave my usual environment, and in particular, get away physically from my child, to have full access to myself any more. With really significant roles in life, it feels vital to pull outside of them every so often to see if they still fit, to rejuvenate from the rigors of routine, to do nothing but care for self in very loving, hedonistic and nurturing ways.

Within poly, I think this becomes even more important. There are so many factors and considerations that one juggles as a usual part of life. As you add people who have importance to you, the logistics multiply geometrically. Stepping outside of that, not taking care of others for a bit, lends itself to perspective about the many facets of one's life and loves.

So, take that time out! Go away for a few days. Set things up so that life runs smoothly in your absence, and embrace the release from daily responsibilities to others! Cherish being your own "primary partner", and remember that by feeding that relationship, you nourish all of the others in your life.

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