Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Beginnings and sushi


This evening S and I are having dinner with his new interest. While she and I have met previously, it wasn't in the context of having a mutual connection, so this is sort of the "get to know you" outing. I think we're all a bit excited, and a tinge apprehensive.


It's a little different when you are starting a conversation with someone who isn't familiar with polyamory. There are no assumptions made, no common vocabulary or expectation, and so there's an additional level of communication that happens, probably at the level that all of us would do well to start with, regardless of the potential connection's poly experience level.


As per usual, I'm likely to be a bit direct. This may, or may not, be comfortable for her. Clarity is something that has a lot of value to me, so I'll stick with direct. It'll be pretty amusing if S ends up being the diplomatic arm here, since that is typically my forte. ;) When he and I started dating, it was similar. He was learning _everything_ from the ground up about ethical non-monogamy. Trial by fire, blood, sweat and tears. He did beautifully. It gives me hope for the future, as well as the present.


On an amusing note: We're going to have sushi! This is funny because S has steadfastly refused to have sushi with me previously. However, since she and I both like it, we're leveraging New Relationship Energy plus Old Relationship Magic to get him there tonight. I'm not above using the system. ;)

6 comments:

Designergrl59 said...

Good Luck with that G!I've been told to not date anyone outside the species.;)Thought that was funny and I'd keep it in mind.Then remembered *I* was outside at one time...but so far, when prospectives find out I am poly, they immediately say bye-bye.Yet our Community pool is getting smaller and smaller....:(

Let us know how that goes !Take care,

B

Anonymous said...

HA! RE: The picture - hey, when do I get to put sushi on nekkid women? Fantastic! I should have started eating sushi a lot earlier...

Thank you darling, although, you'll remember that sushi wasn't my first choice - you suggested that you're not above getting me to go leveraging NRE and I mentioned that to her which, in turn, elicited a "Let's do it!" response from her side of the fence, and now I've been roped into eating sushi. I'm willing to try... just pardon me if I gag and barf all over the both of you - certainly a bonding moment if there ever was one :).

s1m0n

Designergrl said...

Can I get ring side seats that ?;)

polyfulcrum said...

Well, I shall make it a point to update you all tomorrow!

Was there hair-pulling? (highly unlikely, unless it's the fun kind!)

Did S actually eat anything that anyone else would consider sushi, or at least enough of it that we don't end up at a drive through window on the way home?

Did the poor people at the restaurant need to clean up after him, or did he just hack into his napkin in a subtle sort of way?

Perhaps he discovered a heretofore unknown attraction to seaweed, pickled ginger and various forms of oceanic protein?

Stay tuned in to find out!

METAwhetstone said...

POLYGESTALT'S PREDICTIONS:

> Was there hair-pulling?

Quite possible -- just to say that they did it. :)


> Did S actually eat anything
> that anyone else would consider
> sushi, or at least enough of it
> that we don't end up at a drive
> through window on the way home?

I predict a drivethrough window experience (or a kitchen raid). :)


> Did the poor people at the
> restaurant need to clean up
> after him, or did he just hack
> into his napkin in a subtle sort
> of way?

Neither. Although only several samples might not be finished.


> Perhaps he discovered a
> heretofore unknown attraction
> to seaweed, pickled ginger and
> various forms of oceanic
> protein?

Hmmmm... repeated exposure necessary methinks.

-PG

polyfulcrum said...

Here's the update for those of you wondering/caring:

Dinner went well! There was consumption of non-cooked fishy substances by S, more than one type. No vomiting, gagging, or otherwise nauseated moments.

Conversation went well! She and I seemed quite comfortable talking, laughing, bonding over the ridiculousness of most female support garments on the market. Great first step.

I did pull S's hair once, just because it's fun.

He did come to bed last night reeking of peanut butter, so I'm guessing there was a post-dinner snack to top off the sushi. ;)