Thursday, October 16, 2008

Mother love

Polyfulcrum again:

So I give my mother a call this morning. The usual sort of "it's been a few weeks and I should touch bases" thing. She unloads at me all sorts of emotional blackmail. How do we assure our daughter's safety around our other partners, as you never know who might be a pedophile? Do we have group sex? Don't I want them to be happy with me? Where is God in all of this? Do you really want your daughter to grow up "like that"? You really must get off on doing things that put you at risk of your life falling apart at any time... There's more, but really, it's about the same tone.

I knew when we came out to them that it was going to be a bit rough. They are staunch conservative Christians, minister and wife, and neither of us is likely to budge much in our stance. The good pieces of the conversation were that I really held it together and didn't allow myself to get riled up much, stuck to non-violent methods of communication, mirrored what she was feeling back pretty well, and just generally tried to speak with integrity about my personal positions and stayed honest.

It sucks that the only thing that matters to them is religion. Nothing else counts. Any other factors are irrelevant. This isn't a new position though. It's been that way since I left the church and struck out on my own. I guess I should be pleased that she at least acknowledged, without my prompting, that the people around me seem to be good people. They are.

The family of choice that I enjoy is more real to me than the one of biology I was stuck with. I will continue to live the life that fills me with joy and fits who I am inside.

1 comment:

Shhh.... said...

I think it's really wonderful that you are able to be open and honest with people outside of your relationships about how you live, even if they aren't as supportive as they could be. :)

I'm not there yet, not sure I will ever be.