Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Being Rejected


A friend I've known since high school just visited our new house for the first and last time. An hour ago, he told me that he and his wife were so uncomfortable with our lifestyle choice that visiting us would be tacit approval of that lifestyle and they would not be visiting our house ever again. They would still remain our friends, but all further gatherings would have to be on neutral ground. They would also be OK with having just PolyFulcrum and myself over to their house, but not with any of our additional connections in tow.

The polite, but somewhat tense conversation touched on their concern over my daughter's life growing up in our house as well as their own sense that we would unwittingly corrupt their own marriage and new child that is due next month. It saddens me that they feel the need to restrict our interactions to such a degree. I fear that will wither our 20 year friendship down to a dry husk of its former self.


wakefield said...

That's really sad. I was so scared people would find out about me and matt, and it would somehow affect our children. So we were completely secret. I dont know how long I could have lasted in hiding. I never had to deal with actually coming out. I have super conservative friends tell me they cant hang out with me just because I am not a christian anymore. Feels horrible. I am really sorry. At this point in history I think Homosexual couples are probably more easily accepted than poly. You are breaking new ground. Be proud to live an honest life. I think you are all fantastic. Laurie

Shhh.... said...

This is so incredibly sad, and exactly why I'm trying to be so discreet about what I'm doing. I'm so scared of this type of reaction from friends and family. And I know this was quite a while ago, but it must have been so very hard.

METAwhetstone said...

Actually, the epilogue to this story was positive. We did mostly work out our philosophical differences to the point where we are still decent friend. Of course, he still doesn't agree with our lifestyle, but I never really expected him to.

He has been over to our house since then, his wife and baby in tow. :)

Jenne said...

I'm glad that in the end this journal post has had a more positive note. I've recently gone through some of the same things. It's difficult, more difficult than I perhaps though it would be, but my primaries....I would trade them for the world or any friend.