Thursday, July 29, 2010

So much space...

In the past couple of months, S's daughter relocated to be closer to her extended family, and now PG (yes, I know he's got that new name now, but for the purposes of continuity, I'll probably continue to use that moniker) is moving out this weekend.

When we built this house, it was set up to have all three adults working here, and the two kids, plus have space for a guest or two. Now we have the two adults working here, one kid, and that's about it. It feels a bit cavernous for just the three of us, so I'm looking towards doing something totally new for me: some form of communal living.

Yes, it's not exactly poly, but it feels a bit related. I don't think I'd be terribly satisfied with people that just pay the bill and come and go without any social contact. Ideal, of course, would be other poly people that we could form some sort of community bond with, or at least not have to explain all the intricacies of ethical non-monogamy. To be honest though, I'm not exactly sure how this is going to go. I've never lived with anyone that I wasn't partnered with, or nuclear family of, and have only had two partners that I've ever lived with, PG and S. For all my wild ways, when it comes to home, I'm a bit of a fuddy-duddy apparently.

I'm sort of seeing this whole idea as a metamour kind of thing: Here's someone you don't have a real direct connection to, but that you want to get along with reasonably well, because it will make a host of other things easier! Self-interest aside, you may find them personally appealing, and someone you could learn things from, so there is a level of effort that goes into creating connection and empathy, learning each other's patterns and schedules, and generally getting to know them.

So here we go! Wish us luck with this search for a great person(s) to fill out our household dynamic. It's kind of a "blind date", but shoot, my parents met on a blind date and are still going strong!


Anonymous said...

If I was in your area, OB and I would be interested in meeting you and possibly moving in with you. We're pretty much stuck where we are right now, though. I hope you find someone nice!

polyfulcrum said...

Sorry to hear you're feeling so stuck! Let us know if you ever get to the local area, as we're always interested in adding to our community. :)

Paul said...

I'd like to meet you!

paul said...

I'm in Vantucky also.

polyfulcrum said...

Hi Paul! You can leave a message for me on OKC with contact info so we can connect locally. I have the same username there.

It's looking like we have roomies that will be joining us at the end of the month! A single mom and 10 year old daughter, which matches our dynamic pretty closely. We disclosed on the poly stuff up front, and no real issues ensued, so that's one more example of coming out being a non-issue.

I'll keep you all updated as to how the (ostensibly) normal people fit in to things around here as we learn more!