Dating by Proxy

PG casually dates a lot more than either PF or I do; how he manages to find the time and personal organization puzzles me. Regardless, he always has a good story or two about lives outside of our little pod, and recently, one story in particular has my ear glued to the wall.

Her name is C and I was first introduced to her at our house party back in October. At the time she was new to poly and had that fresh naivity about poly that I remember when I was first introduced to it. It was cool to see that and be on the other side this time. She was curious, talkative, bright; young, beautiful... dressed in a lacy lingerie she purchased specifically for the party. In talking, I learned her and her husband had been exploring poly for six months. Throughout the night, I didn't see her play, and I didn't see her leave; I wouldn't see her again for another two months. She was charming.

During this time, she's been successful at poly - I understand there's a line to date this girl so I don't even try. So when PG gets an opportunity to see her, I'm intensely curious (the ears perk up) and I try to ask more, dig deeper, and figure out what's going on in her life... I always want to know more, maybe things he didn't even ask. I guess this is dating by proxy (or, at worse, stalking by proxy) because PG's doing all of the legwork and I'm just vamping off the experience. It's part curiousity, part attraction, part tactics (subconsciously I think I'm waiting for the "right" moment to ask her out), and part cowardace, even something that could probably be felt if PG was dating C in a mono relationship but that kind of curiosity carries a whole different perspective when you're poly.

s1m0n

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