Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Why Won't I Date Someone Who Is Cheating?

    



Although I'd much rather be enjoying the pleasant canoodling I was anticipating, than writing this blog post, some stories must be told, and some things must be said! 

This week, I was going to have a second date with a new prospective partner. We had a mutual kink that we both wanted to explore.  The first meeting went well, but there was just something that seemed off...something I couldn't quite put my finger on...So I kept asking questions, and finally got very direct: "Is there anyone else that might be upset by our interacting?" He said that this kink was one his partner (hadn't been mentioned) wasn't interested in exploring with him, and so he was looking elsewhere without their knowledge.  Please understand that he loves her, they have a good relationship, but he really wants this particular thing in his life.  Just give him a chance.

Sigh.  If I had a dollar for every time I've heard variations on that story...

Too often I've heard the "ethically" non-monogamous justify their involvement as an integral part of a cheating dynamic as it not being any of their business what someone else does/does not do within their other relationships.  They say personal autonomy trumps any responsibility they have to say "No" to involving themselves with someone who is cheating on their partner with the poly person.  They say that the situation is complicated, and it would be too hard for the other person to make changes to create an honest environment.  They say that we shouldn't judge anyone else's actions by our own standards.

Calling bullshit on all that mess.

At the minimum, it is MY standard to assure (as much as I can) that a third party isn't having their ability to consent taken away from them via lack of information, where I would be complicit in that deceit.  It's irrelevant that I personally am not breaking agreements to pursue that connection.  Being a partner of someone who is cheating on their other person isn't who I want to be.  Having a partner who is cheating isn't a partner I want to have.  The potential damage to my world isn't worth that risk.

Most people think it's going to be the end of the world if they rip off the band aid and tell their partner they want additional connections.  They are probably right in assessing it will be disruptive.  Personally, I've done that work, and I want to only date other people that are willing to work that hard too.  No cheaters.  No excuses.

6 comments:

myhuonglequyen said...

Thanks for sharing, nice post! Post really provice useful information!

Công ty vận chuyển hàng nước ngoài FadoExpress hàng đầu chuyên vận chuyển, chuyển phát nhanh siêu tốc đi khắp thế giới, nổi bật là dịch vụ gửi hàng đi mỹ, gửi hàng đi úcgửi hàng đi đài loan uy tín, giá rẻ.

Unknown said...

am here to share the wonderful work Dr gbojie did for me. After 5 years in marriage with my husband with 2 kids, my husband started acting weird and going out with other ladies and showed me cold love, on several occasions he threatens to divorce me if I dare question him about his affair with other ladies, I was totally devastated and confused until a old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet called Dr. gbojie who help people with relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love spells, at first I doubted if such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, when I contact him, he helped me cast a love spell and within 48hours my husband came back to me and started apologizing, now he has stopped going out with other ladies and his with me for good and for real. Contact this great love spell caster for your relationship or marriage problem to be solved today via email: gbojiespiritualtemple@gmail.com or gbojiespiritualtemple@yahoo.com or WhatsApp: +2349066410185 . Read more about him on his website: http://gbojiespiritualtemple.website2.me

blogger said...

Dr.Agbazara is a great man,this doctor help me to bring back my lover Jenny Williams who broke up with me 2year ago with his powerful spell casting and today she is back to me so if you need is help contact him on email: ( agbazara@gmail.com ) or call/WhatsApp +2348104102662. And get your relationship problem solve like me

Sandra Butler said...

EFFECTIVE AND POWERFUL LOVE SPELL CASTER DR JUMBA +19085174108
I feel so blessed again in my marriage after Doctor jumba brought back my husband that separated with me for a good 6 months. My husband separated with me for  6 months and I have  been in pain and agony without him. So, i searched for help everywhere but nothing worked out not until i meant Doctor jumba who i contacted online. I explained my situation to him and he promised that my husband will get back to me within 24 to 48 hours as far as my heart still beats for him. I believed in him and he prepared a spell for me and my husband called me exactly when Doctor  jumba   said. He pleaded and said he needs me back and now we are living happily again for the past 9 months. Everyone out there reading my article that needs help should contact him.  via call : +19085174108 or wiccalovespelltools@gmail.com for more information check out his website : https://drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com/

Anonymous said...

Few weeks ago my girlfriend told me that she was fed up, so she packed her stuff and left me while I was taking a walk to cool off. When I got back, I was so messed up because I didn't even know what to do, it was like my whole life was coming to an end. That night I drove to a friend’s house and he was nice enough to give me a description of a man who did spells that could bring her back for me. He said this man brought her fiancée back to him after 2days. The man's email is emutemple@gamil.com, it was this man that then did a spell and brought Claire back to my life. She was now so humble and calm, she was respectful and lovely even more than i can imagine. This man is really strong and accountable. I never regret anything through him. meet him if you need help in your love life. visit his website you may find your solution there https://emutemple.wordpress.com/

Liliana moore said...

REAL AND EFFCTIVE LOVE SPELL CASTER TO BRING BACK EX LOVER URGENTLY
My husband and I have been married for about 7 yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone. He started coming home late from work, he hardly cares about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the Internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr Jumba can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he did a spell for me. Two days later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promised never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. My family and I are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Jumba . If you need a spell caster that can cast a spell that truly works, I suggest you contact him. He will not disappoint you. This is his Email : 

wiccalovespelltools@gmail.com

WhatsApp +19085174108
Website  :  https://drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com