tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404345771022225541.post7202903332258623038..comments2024-03-28T02:02:33.131-07:00Comments on Journals of a Polyamorous Triad: Traveling While Poly - Part 1Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404345771022225541.post-74822334203443755232023-11-05T11:08:08.769-08:002023-11-05T11:08:08.769-08:00I was able to win back my Ex lover with the help o...I was able to win back my Ex lover with the help of.... Thanks to [[Dr.mac]]@yahoo.comAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16786488930810673650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404345771022225541.post-23041501295978090092013-04-06T10:41:57.689-07:002013-04-06T10:41:57.689-07:00I forget that the comments have html tags enabled ...I forget that the comments have html tags enabled so some of my words disappeared because of my addiction to angle brackets. Sorry. I think the gist still comes through. :)Davehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10991890044034534596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404345771022225541.post-62014048167752761872013-04-06T10:39:20.978-07:002013-04-06T10:39:20.978-07:00Amaranta, I'm glad that you are enjoying the b...Amaranta, I'm glad that you are enjoying the blog. I'm kinda partial to this one (duh), but there is a lot of good stuff out there.<br /><br />One thing that stood out, reading your comment, was this part:<br /><br />"...sometimes I wonder if someone as jealous as me will ever succeed. But I really want to be good at this, and I am not proud of my jealousy. I want to learn to deal with it, and to eventually overcome it."<br /><br />Without getting too "Counselor/Buddhist" here, I want to say something that might sound batshit crazy.<br /><br />First, I'll skip to the end. The answer is yes, if you truly want to, you will succeed. Congratulations! <br /><br />Second, the part that might sound nuts... what if instead of being "not proud" and "eventually overcoming" it, you change two of those words?<br /><br />What would happen, if instead you said that "I want to become accepting of my jealousy, and to eventually learn to value that part of myself"?<br /><br />What would that look like?<br /><br />What if instead of sewing internal conflict and strife, you accepted and acknowledged that part of you that has those feelings, addressed it with love, and then chose behavior that would lead to greater happiness?<br /><br />What if you proudly stated, "Sometimes I feel jealous, and I don't want to share time with , or I feel spiteful feelings toward , but I know what causes that, and I will choose to behavior in a way that shows love and trust to everyone despite those feelings"?<br /><br />That might be one definition of "overcoming", but instead of using conflict-oriented phrasing, I think it might be more accurate to say that you are "making peace" with that part of you through understanding, acceptance, and tolerance.<br /><br />I hypothesize that with additional communication and understanding externally (mitigating the "fear" source of jealousy) and internal communication and understanding (mitigating the knee-jerk reaction as you know yourself better), you might find that the strength of your jealous impulses would wane over time, becoming an acceptable part of yourself that no longer drive behavior, but is something that you can recognize and control.<br /><br />Just an idea. :PDavehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10991890044034534596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404345771022225541.post-81064952169932704482013-04-06T09:00:05.659-07:002013-04-06T09:00:05.659-07:00Hi there, Amaranta -
Thank you so much for your ...Hi there, Amaranta - <br /><br />Thank you so much for your comment and for reading our blog!<br /><br />Jealousy and envy are normal aspects of all relationships; you can and will get through it. Take a looksee at my Poly101 articles here on the blog - just click the poly101 category off to the right. I've got a 101 on Jealousy.<br /><br />All the best, and thanks for reading -<br />Russell<br />(s1m0n)<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404345771022225541.post-55851241228487792132013-04-06T00:05:36.960-07:002013-04-06T00:05:36.960-07:00Hi, I 've been reading your blog in the last w...Hi, I 've been reading your blog in the last weeks, and I wanted to thank you because I find it really interesting and useful. My husband and I became officially a polyamory couple about six months ago, when I also started dating my boyfriend (we had been talking about it since we got married). My boyfriend is married and they are also in a polyamory relationship. It is very challenging and difficult sometimes, and sometimes I wonder if someone as jealous as me will ever succeed. But I really want to be good at this, and I am not proud of my jealousy. I want to learn to deal with it, and to eventually overcome it. Both my husband and my boyfriend are not jealous, so it makes things easier.Anyway, I read your blog and I hope I will become as good as you guys are. So thanks for showing the right direction. Best luck! Violantehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06573505286987871865noreply@blogger.com