tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404345771022225541.post901879352891746281..comments2024-03-28T02:02:33.131-07:00Comments on Journals of a Polyamorous Triad: FearsUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404345771022225541.post-15314756539464921522010-12-19T15:18:27.251-08:002010-12-19T15:18:27.251-08:00insightful topic and post ~ thank you. i'll be...insightful topic and post ~ thank you. i'll be pondering this one for a bit. <br /><br />initial thoughts...<br />so much of this is *life*, not poly specific. yet the numbers can make things more likely or more frequent. <br /><br />i have very little fear of being wrong. in life, i mostly assume that there are soo many unknowns, and different people with different thoughts, experiences, and paradigms, that mostly, i *will* be wrong ~ it's my ongoing assumption. i just hope to choose and attract people that are capable of identifying their own thoughts, feelings, and preferences, and people who are willing to be overt about what works better for them so i can adjust, improve, and become more "right" as needed. <br /><br />for me, coming out is a significant fear ~ i am afraid of coming out to people whose opinions i care about. for casual around-town-ness and with strangers or acquaintances (who are not our employers) are no problem ~ i often held hands with more than one friend at a time even when i was monogamous. so hand holding and friendly pdas with more than one person at once are easy for me. but for people whose opinions matter... that's scary.<br /><br />so far, i'm out to my poly friends (they're easy), and to a handful of other friends and just one relative ~ my sister. yet i talk about my other love as part of my life ~ as a close friend that me and my family see often, and who spend a lot of time with. my friends and family know i go on an annual star-gazing trip with him and that he's my dance partner and a life/future part of my family. i haven't shared the romantic aspect, yet it's not like i don't talk about him a lot. <br /><br />it doesn't feel like i'm lying, yet with being with him almost nine eight years now, it almost seems like i "owe" him more public acknowledgement of who he is to me within my family. he doesn't feel that way or need that, yet it still feels ambivalent to me to share who he is to me and leave out that he's also a romantic love. <br /><br />perhaps i'll conquer my fear about coming out more... once i get some other more pressing self-improvements out of the way. or am i rationalizing...?lynellenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7404345771022225541.post-6696422236007471362010-12-19T09:40:12.730-08:002010-12-19T09:40:12.730-08:00Excellent post - what about the fear of appearing ...Excellent post - what about the fear of appearing "different" or "not normal"?<br /><br />I had that fear when I first started out. Appearing in public, holding and kissing on two or more women, and I was concerned what people would be saying behind me at restaurants or movie theaters. That fear would compel me not to go out in public as Poly unless I was surrounded by other PolyPeeps...<br /><br />Good job here!<br /><br />s1m0nAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com